One thing that has been redefined for me since moving to Tokyo is the concept of "personal space". My native home of Australia is a pretty big country with relatively few people, so we are all about the personal space over there. We luxuriously bask in having a generously comfortable vacant area around us at all times.
I'll tell you what it's like in Tokyo. You're on a train before 8am. It's already so packed you're making physical contact all around. The doors open and 6 more people get on. You wonder if this is really how sardines feel lying neatly in their little rectangular tin, or if they get more personal space than you do.
You go to a soba noodle bar for lunch. You're sitting so close to two people you've never met that you're almost touching arms, both of them slurping loudly in your ear. You suddenly realise that slurping is not bad manners in the west because it's rude. It's because it's darn annoying.
Tokyo has a whole lot of people and relatively little space. So, the Japanese have gotten pretty creative with the use of space. For example, fast food restaurants often have the ordering counter on the ground floor, and then you go upstairs to the one of the floors above to eat, with sometimes even three floors, depending on if it's a busy area.
Today, I confess, I made a less healthy choice for lunch, and went to Burger King. I ordered my whopper and sundae, with the intention of eating in, and took them upstairs to find a place to sit. Only it turns out that every table was taken, except in the smoking room, and there was no stinkin' way I was going in there. Now, I could have just gone back down stairs and asked to have it "to go", but I'm a little stubborn and wanted to eat it there. So I decided to do what I've seen others do, and have done myself before - ask someone if I can eat at their table.
Now, in Australia this would be considered pretty bad manners. I mean, if someone has claimed the table, then you let them have the table and you don't intrude. If there's no spare tables, well, bad luck. But not in Japan. They realise here that space is limited, and sometimes you just gotta share. So as long as someone asks nicely and the other seat is not being used, you let them sit at your table.
So here I am, holding my tray and looking around, ready to select my victim. I see a man at one of the larger tables and move towards him, hoping it's actually two tables together. But as I get closer I see it's just one table and not such an easy target. Next, I head towards the small tables with only one person. I approach one with a young woman sitting there. But last moment I notice her umbrella hanging off the other chair, and wonder if she's expecting someone. Plus she's wearing headphones and I might not hear me ask, and hasn't looked up even though I'm sure she knows I'm there.
I look at the table next to her, where a young man is seated, next to the wall. But as I'm about to ask, I notice that he's actually asleep. (You're probably picturing a guy slumped over with his face on the food tray, but this is Japan and he's having a siesta Japanese style - arms folded, leaning back with his head down.) I look around nervously and see a middle-aged man watching me with interest, waiting for my next move. I look back at the table with Mr Sleepy Head. I slowly approach. No movement. I place my tray down, feeling a little rude for not asking, but he's asleep and I don't want to disturb the poor guy. I sit down. He stirs a little, but still no sign of full consciousness. Well, if he wakes up I'll just sheepishly ask him then. I begin eating my burger.
About 5 minutes later I notice a small table nearby becoming vacant. I consider moving to that table, but figure I'm doing okay and someone else will just end up in my predicament. I might as well leave the free table open for the next person. Besides, I'm starting to be pretty entertained by the thought of whether I can finish my burger before this guy wakes up. I'm already halfway through.
A couple more minutes later, out the corner of my eye, I notice someone sit at the vacant table. Well, there goes that option anyway. Or so I thought.
"Mari-Anna?" I look up. It's my trainer, who I'd just been with at the office about 15 minutes earlier. "Want to come sit here?" she said, as I started picking up my tray. "Why were you sitting over there, anyway?" she asks. I replied "There wasn't any space before. And I know I could have moved to this table earlier, but hey, I was having fun making new friends!"
Soon I notice him wake, and am suddenly relieved I didn't have to awkwardly explain why I was sitting at his table. A short time later he gets up and leaves, none the wiser.
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